**Effective Listening 有效的傾聽
//The reasons you don’t listen 你無法傾聽的原因
//How to let go of your own needs and listen 如何屏除你自己的需要,專心聽
//How to move beyond assumptions to openness and empathy 如何跳開假設,開明且設身處地的聽
//How to defuse emotional reactivity 如何排解情緒性反應
//Four components of nonviolent communication 柔性溝通(非暴力溝通)的四個要素
//How to give and receive feedback 如何回饋與接收回饋
**The benefite of Effective Listening 有效傾聽的好處
//To uncover others’ needs and desires發現他人的需要與期望
//To reduce stress 減輕壓力
//To improve relationships 改善人際關係
//To be more productive 更有效能
**The Reasons You Don not Listen
你無法傾聽的原因
1.To listen well, you may have to restrain yourself from disagreeing, giving advice, or talking about your own experience. 心中自有定見
2.You have preconceived expectations or assumptions.
You hear only what you want to hear. 心有成見
3. You become emotionally reactive. 情緒化反應
Speaker’s message triggers hurt, anger, or fear which You have your own memory, desire, and judgement
activates defensiveness and blocks understanding.
Reacting emotionally is the No. 1 reason conversations turn into arguments.情緒化反應是對話變成爭論的最大原因
**How to let go of your own needs and listen如何放下你自己的需要,專心聽
**How to move beyond assumptions to openness and empathy如何跳開假設,開明且設身處地的聽
**How to defuse emotional reactivity如何排解情緒性反應
**Four Components of Nonviolent Communication柔性溝通(非暴力溝通)的四個要素
1.Observation 觀察
//We observe what is actually happening in a situation
//No evaluation, criticisms, or judgments
//We simply say what people are doing
//說話浮躁的,如刀剌人;智慧人的舌頭,卻為醫人的良葯
2. Feeling 明確表達感受
//We state how we feel: are we hurt, scared, joyful, amused, irritated
//Developing a vocabulary of feelings to clearly and specifically name or identify our emotions
3.Needs 需要
//We say what needs of ours are connected to the feelings we have identified 說明與感受相關的需要
//‘I feel -----, because I -----‘
4. Request 請求
//We request what would enrich life
//Requests are received as demands when listeners believe that they will be blamed or punished if they do not comply
**How to give and receive feedback如何回饋與接收回饋
1.Take time to prepare 花時間準備
//Modifying the environment when necessary by finding a quiet place to listen, holding calls, shutting doors, or turning off TVs 預備適合傾聽的環境
//Collecting necessary materials before meetings when possible 事先收集必要資料
2. Focus on one behaviour at a time 一次一樣就好
//Rather than giving a list of information, focus on what is most important, especially with improvement feedback
3.Be specific 明白確切的說出‘You’ve done a good job making up your bed, hanging up your clothes. I feel encouraged that you’re learning to take care of yourself’ instead of ‘Good job’
4.Give feedback regularly and consistently
規律而持續的回饋 We need regular acknowledgement of how we are doing and/or how others are feeling
5.Time feedback appropriately 適時的回饋
//Be sensitive to your own and the other person’s energy level
//Select an environment that is quiet and comfortable
//Give the feedback as simple and precise as possible
//Give feedback over several sessions, if there is a lot to give
6.Learn from negative criticism and feedback
從負面的批評與回饋中學習
//Take a deep breath if you begin feeling tense
//Don’t’ think bad about the person giving the feedback
//Separate the content of the feedback from the person who’s giving it
//Think about how to avoid making the same mistakes later
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